Unscrambled

I honestly never really believed my thoughts were truly

the problem, or that I had any choice than to 

believe in them.

I didn't know I could fix my thoughts on way better things.

I would focus on God, and then would beat myself up,

because 5 minutes later, I was telling myself how miserable this or that was,

and throwing a pity party over something so incredibly foolish.

(I see that now, looking back. It was justified then.)

I had major-monkey brain, and it certainly wasn't

going to be tamed.

It wasn't always loving, or peaceful, or good.

There was never bad intent.  Just scared. My brain just grew up in Ninja mode.

 I spent the majority of my life waiting for...searching for the other shoe to drop.

The next "attacker" that would have the potential to win.

The loss I couldn't get over, the fear that something bad was right

around the corner.

How could I feel that way, and trust God?

I gave it my best shot anyway.

Everything takes time. Especially for late bloomers like myself.

I am seeing though a clearer mind these days.

There is no more Ninja on guard.

 But the monkey still keeps me on my toes.

It's cool and autumn-like this morning. My kiddo and his girlfriend

made it safely to my Dads.

My Dad called. I talked to my Stepdad, and Brandon.

The excitement is building. I leave in 2 days.

The Monkey brain loves this stuff !

I take a deep breath, sip my Chai tea, and thank God.

My morning devo-journal-notes.

Beloved,

Joy emerges from the ashes of adversity through your trust & thankfulness.

Truly let Me take the lead.

Trust the right changes always come at the right time.

Reestablish conscious contact with Me.

It's no easy task to change the thinking of a lifetime, 

even when you want to change.

Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity

to clear the air & start again, fresh & free.

Just be yourself. 

There is no need for you to be some kind of super-being 

in order to measure up to everyone else.

Simply show up, with your smile, your way of doing things &

you way of being exactly who you are.

Stop beating up on yourself for the things you did not do

to everyone else's satisfaction.

Stop doubting & second guessing yourself.

Take a chance on just being enough of yourself 

to make yourself happy.

Allow Me to expose the areas defeating & blinding you.

Listen to Me. And receive the light you need.

When you live purposefully, think rightly,

serve generously, and forgive quickly, you are laying

the groundwork for victory.

You will have negative triggers in your life.

Think before you react.

Deliberately choose words and actions that are lovely,

excellent, & worthy of praise - words & actions

that will help you meet your goals.

Don't be tempted to forget the light within you.

Only the experience of who you really are,

at home at last within yourself,

will bring you the peace you seek.

~ God ~

"Your vision is that mental picture you hold of your future.

If that image is definite, compelling, and detailed,

it exerts a powerful influence on your current decisions,

pulling you in the direction of your dreams."

xoxo

💖

 

Nothin’ Sweeter

This week we met with our pastor, and we both had a good "come to Jesus" talk.

It's opened our eyes to some things. We were stuck. We now have direction.

My kiddo is on his way to NY with his girlfriend, and they will be

at Dad's when I fly in Wednesday. I can't wait !!

I've decided to create a personal Health plan for my integrative labs.

I've been working with my own sugar detox, vagus nerve stimulation,

and ways to heal the nervous system with Somatic movement and meditation...

and breath. It's a lot...and I can't pick one thing, so I'm going to go for it all.

 I will figure out how to tie it all together into a program to follow.

That will give me more structure, and make it easier for me to stick with it.

I have been getting creative, and putting together some fall projects.

I want to celebrate new beginnings.

I'm ready to take some leaps and create a better space for me and mine.

Time to transform some of my dreams into reality.

"When a flower doesn't bloom,

you fix the environment it grows in,

not the flower."

a few notes from my journal this week...

The world can be wild and unpredictable,

but you can find humor among the heaviness.

Humor is a simple form of hope.

Seeking our lightness is an essential tool for living a positive life.

You are worthy of life & love & all sorts of other good things.

Come off the head trip of trying to prove your worth to others

to convince yourself.

Always trust where your intuition takes you.

If you can't say something  positive, silence is the best substitute.

It's one thing for others to full you with junk.

It's even worse when you choose to feed yourself

toxic thoughts. 

Speak life & spread joy.

Believe in and experience your own sense of worth,

make decisions that you are worth believing in.

Then tell yourself that.

Gather the awareness, courage, self-love and willingness 

to stop suffering.

Love life in a different way with healthier attitudes & choices.

Use your intellect instead of your emotions,

detach from the person or situation and face your problems 

in a healthier manner.

Attach yourself mentally & verbally to what you do want, such as joy,

peace, fun, prosperity, significance and excellent health.

Cultivate and environment around you that helps you bloom.

Do something that nourishes you right now.

Breathe slowly and deeply.

You may have believed that having a dark side makes you unworthy.

Remember that only stars shine in the darkness.

It is possible to attain whatever it is that you want.

Flow in the moment, find humor & acceptance in even the difficult times.

Adapt to what you cannot change, seeing the gifts in every dilemma.

Show up for life & participate to the best of your ability.

Focus on the real workings of your life, instead of the trappings.

Pray your tail off.

xoxo

💖

Uncertainty & Trust

I am going through integration labs in my coaching

course. 

It's time for me to choose a destination and start moving 

toward it.

Both in my course, and in my life.

It all goes hand-in-hand.

I'm facing some resistance in certain areas.

Hang-ups, fears, anxiety, uncertainty.

It's all very much on the surface right now.

I have been reminding myself to stay present, breathe,

and remember that trying to control what I 

cannot control is a good way to end up in 

the loony bin.

The way my journal notes formed today.

My Child,

Trust Me enough to let things happen without

striving to predict or control them.

Relax & refresh yourself in My Light & Love.

When you project yourself into the future, rehearsing

what you will do or say you are seeking to be sufficient

without Me.

Live fully in the present depending on Me each moment.

Rather than fear your inadequacy, rejoice in My abundant supply.

Don't divide your life into things you can do alone,

and things that require My help.

Discipline yourself to rely on Me in every situation.

Work on your attitudes, take care of your mind, body and spirit.

Change the things you can.

Accept your powerlessness, put your energy where you can do

some good & surrender to My care.

Don't miss what I am saying.

When you find yourself dwelling on a persistent problem, bring it to Me 

and confess the mental bondage you're experiencing.

Request My help.

I am teaching you to fix your thoughts on Me more & more.

To achieve this goal you need discipline & desire.

It's all there. Everything you need to know. Why you are here,

what you are here to do, & how you must go about accomplishing

every task.

Every experience you have endured or conquered were designed to teach you.

It's all right there in the heart of your soul.

That is where you find My voice.

It will be difficult to hear if you are angry or blaming others.

Spend time listening to your heart. 

Ask for My guidance away from what you no longer need or desire

onto the path you deserve.

Be devoted to renewing your spirit by cleansing your heart.

Life gives endless new beginnings, endless chances to remember who you are.

You can endlessly reinvent yourself. 

Be more accepting, welcome change, and trust the process.

Let go of the need to stay in any unhealthy systems.

Reclaim your inner peace. Stay there.

Be sure in My love.

I have a plan for you.

Trust Me to bring you just what you need to help you become 

closer & closer to the person I created you to be.

Let Me do My part while you do yours.

I will meet all of your needs.

~God~

"The pain is not in the surrender and acceptance.

It is in the resistance."

 

AFGO

An acronym for:

....another f***ing growth opportunity.

I usually try to be more filtered,

but my filter is faulty today.

It's been a weekend.

Maybe I needed to get to this point.

Maybe it's preparing me for what is waiting for me.

There is something I needed to learn,

that could only happen this way.

I'm processing...

sitting with the letter that took form in my journal notes this morning.

My dear child,

In order to hear My voice you must release all of 

your worries into My care.

Let Me free you from fear that is hiding deep 

inside you.

Sit quietly in My Presence, allowing My Light to

soak into you & drive out any darkness lodged

within you.

Accept each day just as it comes to you,

remembering that I am sovereign over your life.

Rejoice in this day that I have made, 

trusting that I am abundantly Present in it.

Instead of regretting or resenting all circumstances,

trust Me and don't be fearful.

Cast all of your anxieties on Me.

Give thanks, for this is My will for you.

When troubles assail you, exert yourself to think 

about who I am- your savior & friend.

Acknowledge My sovereignty & trust Me.

Commit to following Me wherever I lead.

Ask Me for the courage to always obey Me, no matter the pressure.

" The destruction of self-worth begins the moment we assign a value

to something outside of ourselves."

Being a spouse is not more important than being a whole, healthy being.

Anytime you place value on anything or anyone greater than the value

you place on yourself, you are engaging in an unconscious form of suicide.

You may have considered someone more important than you.

You may have pushed yourself to take care of people & things,

believing they were valuable & important aspects of your life.

Just for today, and again tomorrow, make yourself the most

important & valuable aspect of your life.

Think of you. Do for you, and take care of you first.

Life will test you. People may seek your weak spots,

and push your tolerance over the edge.

These people are here to help you learn about what you don't want,

won't tolerate, and how to own your own power.

You can thank them for what you learned.

There are times to not trust others, but

instead trust yourself & set boundaries with those around you.

I will always reveal the truth to you if you simply

don't block My guidance.

This happens when you push too hard, trying frantically

to make things happen, or keep things from happening, because you lack faith.

Be still. Be quiet and My Spirit will make right all things.

In any moment you are free to restart your life.

Free yourself from the chains of the past,

and free the future to be unlike it.

Love will make all things right.

Dwell fully in the present.

Release everything to Me.

There is great power in adversity. It is what molds your

character. Trying to avoid it is like trying to avoid life.

With My help it is possible to retain your joy even in the midst

of hardships. And with more poise & calm, you will do a better job

of responding to the difficulty, whatever it may be.

It all depend on how you choose to respond to your circumstances.

It can shape you into something exceptional, or something

entirely unremarkable. It's what you learn from it that upgrades you character.

Your character is the essence of who you are.

" Character cannot be developed in ease & quiet

only through experience of trial and suffering can the 

soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambitions inspired,

& success achieved." ~Helen Keller

" You never quite know what you're made of until you are put through the fire."

Consider this problem you are facing may be exactly what you need to chisel

your character so that you become perfectly prepared to follow My plan for your life.

As you deal with the trials, look for the lessons, the wisdom & opportunity that can

transform the situation into something productive and valuable.

Remember the presence of tension, conflict, & difficulty indicates that 

growth is trying to take place.

Trust Me to be bigger, stronger, & more tenacious than anything you ever face.

Time may be tough now, & these challenges can either defeat you 

or inspire you.

They will tear you down, or build you up.

Affirm your ability with My help, to convert all difficult circumstances

to your advantage & My glory.

Get back up!

~God~

 

I'm listening.

xoxo

💓

 

My Light

"What you tell yourself you are, you will be.

What you allow yourself to be reflects

what you have told yourself you are."

The message for today...💝

May you always remember who you really are,

a spark of My love.

Seek to live your authentic truth, regardless of 

whether it is a solitary path.

Don't try to fit into the crowd.

Seek to discern more clearly the path that is yours to walk.

Walk it without fear.

Be who you are. Be true to yourself-

regardless of the reaction of others.

Who you are has always been good enough.

It's who I created you to be.

I am taking care of you.

Rest in Me.

Enjoy your day!

You are loved.

Always.

~God~

xoxo

💝