Create a ritual...

...around my musings.

focus on the things

that move me

or an image I love

and capture it.

notes:

the trick for finding some clarity 

is to look a little closer

memories connect end to end

and become who we are

concentrate on the stirrings of  your soul,

to  know that being alive is being loved

maintain a loving attitude

every single day, learn how to slow down,

breathe deep, and let go of how you 

think life is supposed to be

let go of expectations 

and make room for new ways

of thinking

your authenticity is found hidden

in the small details of your daily round

be well...

xoxo

💖

"You don't always have to try so hard

to live each day to the fullest.

Each day is full on it's own.

All you have to do is notice."

"You can wait for a miracle,

but a better strategy is to meet it halfway."

"Stay in the moment.

The practice of staying present will heal you.

Obsessing about how the future will turn out

creates anxiety.

Replaying broken scenarios from the past

causes anger and sadness.

Stay here.

In this moment."

The greatest....

....joy is found...

Orioles in the backyard

fresh  loaf of sourdough cooling

a walk with my neighbors

Wren song through open windows

...when you let each day seize you.

notes:

you shape your future by how you handle

the present

trust the unfolding of things

be touched by those moments

refreshen your life so that

 it brings you happiness

create a good life for yourself

'Love a world that barely knows

what it means to love itself.'

...and you may begin to see before you,

what your here to do.

remember your breath

and move forward with love

be well...

xoxo

💝

" So what if, instead of thinking

about solving your whole life,

you just think about adding additional

good things.

One at a time.

Just let your pile of good

things grow."

" The key to happiness is pretty much the same

as the key to worry and anxiety--

you must learn to make a big deal our of nothing."

 

Chin up Buttercup...

...a memory from my childhood.

Plucking the yellow flower to place under our 

chins to determine whether 

we loved butter or not.

We all did.

It's the nature of the flower to reflect.

I picked a handful in the pasture while hubby 

 did his farm chores.

I wanted to find out more about this little yellow flower...

Meadow Buttercup

symbolizes joy, cheerfulness, childhood innocence,

happiness, and humility.

Humility...

it's a word I have bonded with this last 3 months.

I have been vague writing about my latest health

concerns, but it was so unexpected,

and as I was walking into the unknowns...

I thought it best to take it as it unfolded,

lean into my faith, and pray for the mindset

to trust God with my fears and concerns 

no matter how scared as I was.

Few knew more.

 I was in good hands.

A brief timeline...

 started with trigger fingers in my hands

x-rays

referral to get an MRI on cervical spine

 & referral to an orthopedic surgeon

in waiting....

suspect a UTI 

call my obgyn

get tested

confirmed

start antibiotics 

day before ortho visit

3 injections in 3 fingers at ortho

next day get a call from obgyn

rare UTI not treatable with oral antibiotic 

 referral to Infusion center,

 & Infectious disease Dr.

& for a C-scan to check my bladder, kidneys and stomach

infusion center very next day

2 shots of high dose anti's (one in each arm) for 5 days.

follow up at infectious disease...

explanations...about UTI & that

future UTI's (thankfully not common for me... )

may likely be treated the same way

released

C-scan with contrast

all is well in area of concern,

however

 obgyn is concerned with bowel

she discusses it with  Gastro Dr. 

(who I have been to)

he wants to examine...

better to be safe

pull in the driveway for this appt. and get a call

he's been called to OR

a brief moment of "NO....!!!"

redeemed by the thought ..."someone needs him worse than I do"...

a little conversation with God ...

"this is Yours."

I trust Him.

 At this point I know He is in control...

&

I have learned that I am DEFINITELY NOT!

 I breathe...

 then carry on...

wait on hold to reschedule...

drive towards plan B, to get groceries in the meantime...

"can you come in an hour if he's back from OR ?"

"Of course. Sign me up"

*thinking of it as a little cliff hanger

as I've come to the final Dr. on this seemingly long list.

Uncertainty mixed with relief.

Dr. shows up.

I show up. 

We talk, he's thorough, reassuring and fun.

His nurse is too.

We find the humor in the situation,

and we all giggle through the exam.

And I loved them for it.

And..

I am okay.

It's stressful facing the unexpected and the unknowns,

and I will forever be learning how let go & to walk with trust.

Life keeps twisting and turning to make sure of it.

Truth is, this hit me in the place I thought I had under control.

It has been a humbling and teachable experience for me.

I am not in control,

but I know who is,

I close my eyes and whisper "thank You!",

and all is well.

be well...

xoxo

💝

"Whenever you meet a ghost, don't run away,

because the ghost will capture the 

substance of your fear and materialize

itself out of your own substance...

it will take over all your own vitality...

so then, whenever confronted with a ghost,

walk straight into it and it will disappear."

~Allan Watts~

"The more you push against the things,

people and experiences you find unpleasant,

the more exhausted you will get and

the unhappier you will become."

"If the challenges of life waited for you 

to be ready for them,

they wouldn't,

of course,

be called challenges."

 

A Journal...

...with my hopeful thoughts & treasured memories.

And my camera ready to capture the small moments

that make up my story...

Buddy

Blondie

Price

Truth

💝

and create magic

when I simply sit and enjoy the moment in time

for the beauty that it is.

Notes...

what's important is not that you know what to do

but who it is you follow

waste your time with God

never stop looking for what's not there

reflect on the moves you've 

made to get here

love looks like letting go of old ideas

hold onto the time you have

find love right where you are

there's a natural unfolding of things

let go of control

and surrender to what will come

do the best you can

to end all suffering

stop it

when you let go

it goes away

be well...

xoxo

💝

"Fill your paper with the breathing

of your heart."

~William Wordsworth~

"Life is a series of things you do for the first and

the last time, the difference being that you know

when it's the first time."

"It is said that nothing lasts forever,

but there are moments in our lives

when we thing something will,

and it is the memory of those moments...

that lasts forever."