Honestly...

...as your thinking goes,

so goes your entire being.

Brandon, nature, lunch, and friends.

Yup! I took a nose dive this week. 

Self-doubt, mainly, but it grew into

a big-hair-monster in need of an exorcism.

God provided exactly what I needed.

Some pre-exorcism journal notes & quotes. 

(the cleaner version of some come to Jesus moments)

Me: "....then bam. Down I went. I tried to lift, but nope.

The weight wouldn't let up."

Ha! 'Respond to hostility with love.'

Blew that!! I don't think the F bomb is very loving.

"What the heck is this anyway?"

"I'm tired. This sucks!"

J: "Your racing mind makes it hard to hear My whisper."

Me: "Father I've lost hope. I've lost the anchor for my soul."

Cue...*Blue Jay's piercing tones*

look it up:

'encourages authenticity & speaking ones truth. Take time for some 

areas of your life. Be brave.

Fight for ones rights.

'Blue Jay's loud piercing tones keeps away misfortune.

Guardian in the spirit realm.

It shows up when you're in a dilemma.

New change.

Coming of age...

Protection, understanding & spiritual direction.'

*(followed by Psalm 34:18)

'He is close to the broken hearted & saves those who are

crushed in spirit.'

*(followed by a tantum of sorts. Not pretty.)

J: " It is crucial that you realize deeply 

that your worth & value do NOT depend

on anyone else.

You have to claim your own inner truth."

Me: "I get that. My heart is closed today.

I'm p--sed off!

I need You. I am not open to You today.

Very little.

Thanks for the Jay.

It makes sense....but I don't know what else to do.

So I'll do nothing.

I want to be angry. I want to hate this.

I want to be authentic today.

This is me being authentically F---ed up!

Thank you for your provisions...

& for loving me anyway.

 xo

Amen"

Thankful that my kiddo stayed a couple nights while he was here for work.

I tried to push it down while he was here...

but Nope. That weight wanted to go.

He was a great support while I sat with my spinning head.

be well...

xoxo

💝

....when something feels impossible, it may take some time

to find your way.

' ...I hope you know the taste of hope on an ordinary

Thursday,

when you don't feel okay,

and you rise up anyway.

Listen for the high pitch song of the blue-bird,

the sound of rain.

Listen for any little reminders of Life,

feel it call you by your name.'

"It takes great love and courage to excavate buried dreams."

"Where there is great love there are always miracles."

"...not to be a 'would-be-if-I-could-be

or a could-be-if-I-would-be.' Just be."

'....while I have learned that dreams need doing as much

as they need being, I have learned that

being always comes first.'

Brandon, 

I have always felt the need to have my act together, and

be at my best. Be..."the perfect Mom."

Thank you for allowing me to unravel at the seams...

and helping to free me from the unrealistic

expectations that I put on myself.

Thank you for showing up.

And allowing me to go through my ugly, weak, scrappy moments...

and to show nothing but love and understanding through it.

You help me to see the humor in the worst of times.

You remind me of who I am, and refresh faded dreams.

You lift me.

Then you take me out to go have some fun.

Thank you for showing me what real love does best.

Thank you for teaching me to embrace life.

You are all of the best parts of your Dad and me.

I am so proud of who you are and what you stand for.

I love you so much.

xoxo

Mom💖

Self-contentment

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Doors and windows open, sitting on an old tattered quilt,

listening to the clucks and giggles of the neighbor "ladies" (chickens),

 and to the incredible singing of the Tufted Titmouse who

flew as if it were coming in to join me, 

but chose instead, to land on a wire right above the door.

Polly happily flowing in an out of the house as if she 

was suddenly gifted a magical super-power, and 

testing it to see if it really works.

Keeping things simple right now. 

Staying focused on the moments as they unfold.

Riding out some shifts of newness and uncertainty.

Finding my flow.

Enjoying the lovely weather we've had lately.

Trying not to over-think things.

Letting go of the distractions that try to pull me down...(like overthinking things...).

Staying present to the surprising gifts, 

 and trusting the signs and signals along the way...

Tufted Titmouse

'If you envision this bird singing, it symbolizes good fortune.

Living in the present.

Step away from the past & worry less about the future.

Breakthrough is around the corner. 

Life is about to change completely.

Keep practicing expressing yourself.

Be cheerful even on your worst days.

Appreciate the small things in life.'

"Life is more amazing when you smile more 

and worry  less."

~Tufted Titmouse~

"Distractions are a dime a dozen: stay focused

on God's amazing plans for your life."

When we're distracted we lose sight of the path

that is laid out for us.

Do whatever it takes to eliminate  the distractions

that keep you pulled away from your innermost self.

Listen in solitude.

Become present.

Absorb the small moments of joy.

Trust in yourself.

Hold gratitude deep in your heart.

be well...

xoxo

💖

"Stop chasing distraction and numbing.

It's okay to be bored, to be silent, or be alone.

Sometimes we need a dopamine

detox from overstimulation to calm

our nervous system.

A break from streaming services,

junk food, alcohol, 

doomscrolling social media,

phone notifications, video games,

shopping.

Calm the noise to hear

what's going on inside."

~Dr. Will Cole~

"Did you know your gut, liver, fat,

& muscle talk directly to your brain?

Chronic stress inflames these organs,

and that inflammation feeds back to the 

brain, shaping mood and emotion.

When you calm your body,

your mind will follow."

~Dr. Mark Hyman~

"I wish people knew to hum more.

It awakens your Vagus nerve.

Your grounded, rested, center.

It calms anxiety, heart rate and

blood pressure.

It produces oxytocin and serotonin, 

your relaxation and pleasure pathways.

Humming is medicine."

~Dr. Will Cole~

Inner Voice

....a year ago I was not painfully aware

 of how every choice I made...

could either keep me spinning...

or help to set me free.

A year ago I didn't believe, that the quality of my life

 was only, truly, up to me.

"When we break up with a few of the distractions that

have been drowning everything out,

we create a beautiful, quiet spot 

where God can meet us once again.

Find that place."

Journal notes...

Deny the strongholds of fear & control.

When you have what you need spiritually,

all else falls into place.

Be honest about where you are.

Stay focused & develop a plan.

'Fight for the right to be happy,

and fight will emerge from your soul.'

Break free from oppression and victimization.

'Big decisions seem scary.

If you know the answer but can't seem to jump,

harness your bravery to jump with confidence.'

Trust your intuition.

He reveals what is important for you to know.

In His Presence you receive what you need.

You won't know what's waiting on the other side of a decision

until you move forward.

Be brave and know that everything will be okay.

He will sift out everything without a solid foundation

so that only unshakable things will be left.

Hebrews 12:27

People grow where they are loved...

be well...

xoxo

💝

" Intuition is a spiritual faculty, and does not explain,

but simply points the way."

"Going after what you want is an opportunity to 

honor your soul and take action toward fulfillment.

If you have a desire in your heart, you have the choice to 

do what it takes to make it happen.

When you decide to go after a dream,

be prepared for the work it takes to make it come true.

It will all be worth it in the end.

Welcome the hard work it takes for you life to change."

I wanted something new for breakfast this morning....

So I made a Pumpkin Smoothie...

1/2 cup pumpkin puree canned 

I frozen banana

1 cup coconut milk

1/4 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

1 scoop Vanilla protein powder

(My #1 Ancient Nutrition)

1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

Mixed it in my Ninja...( a blender works too).

You can sweeten with honey or maple syrup if needed.

Try it first. I tried both with and without. I like it better without.

Protein powder makes it creamy, plus I need the added

protein.

Pumpkin is a great source of fiber, potassium, and 

antioxidants, and is nutrient dense. Yes please....!

A Gift

Running from change.

'Change can be painful-

it can even seem insurmountably difficult.

But nothing is more difficult or painful than

becoming stuck where you don't want to stay.

Be open to what comes next.

Be open to new experiences and

allow yourself to grow.

It's rarely the future that causes your unwillingness

to move forward,

it's the fear of repeating the past.

Happiness comes when you decide to make changes,

and move on from the past.'

I had an unexpected turn on my path this week.

A friendly offer. 

Excited by an opportunity, paired with with a massive rush of doubt & insecurities.

Over the phone....she added...

"This is a good growth opportunity for you."

She gets me.

 She ,being a friend,...who has also earned her masters in psychology.

I trust her and appreciate her encouragement.

I know she's right.

The idea tugs at my heart.

I'm looking into it.

I'll know more soon.

Journaling....

Accept your circumstances just as they are.

Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning.

Let thankfulness and trust guide you.

The best way to get through the day is step-by-step.

Do not hesitate to ask God for help.

What He provides for you is not only ample

but is of the finest quality.

He leads you in the manner best for you.

"It's in those where-can-I-go-but-God

experiences that He gets you all to Himself and you

hear Him more clearly."

"When a God idea overrides your human thinking

& knowledge,

your faith in God releases Him to perform miracles

of all shapes and sizes."

The only thing you can grasp without damaging

your soul, is His hand.

Trust Him, or worry. You have thousands

of correct choices each day.

Don't let fear, doubt, or unbelief steal your life from you.

Throw out scary "what if's".

Keep your focus and faith in God.

Stop doubt at the thought level.

Throw it out.

"God gives you the sight, the right, and the might,

to do great things,

but you have to develop the fight."

Know the truth and don't budge from it.

Believe it. Live it. Refuse to back off.

'Courage doesn't happen without fear, doubt & unbelief.

Courage overcomes all of these and gets the job done.'

If you don't believe God will do what He says He will do,

Who do you believe?

be well...

xoxo

💞

"Do you remember the cowardly lion in the movie, The Wizard of Oz?

Everyone knew he was a lion, but he didn't have a clue

he was a lion.

He was afraid because he didn't know who he really was."

"The joy of life comes from the ways in which we live together

and the pain of life comes from the many ways we fail

to do that well."

"It  is when you're going through the most difficult

chapter of your life that your hero is revealed,

and how beautiful it is when you finally realize

you have the strength to save yourself."