December 11, 2024

Life has seemed more fragile lately.

We came upon an accident Sunday night while we 

were returning home from Christmas shopping.

A woman lost her life.

It has left a lingering sadness within me.

My kiddo has been in the area for work.

He came over one afternoon and we baked

our traditional Swedish spritz cookies together.

Yesterday we met for a nice chat and lunch before he left.

During lunch, I was nudged to do something kind for a stranger.

I listened to the fear that would rather I question my heart.

Fear and doubt.

But I ended up following my heart, (after I shared my feelings with Brandon ).

No big deal really, but also a very big deal to me.

I'm learning to listen to that quiet inner voice...my intuition. 

It absolutely turned my whole day into a series of synchronous occurrences.

I even ran into a long lost friend that I have been trying to connect to,

as I came out of the Walmart bathroom...and she was on her way in.

(ending up at Walmart also being an occurrence...for both of us.)

It's been years.

We couldn't quit hugging.

And if that wasn't a big enough takeaway for the day....

finding a parking spot right next to the door is worth noting.

Life still feels fragile.

We hear of another loss almost daily.

Friends and family are going through rough times.

Constant shifts and several changes in our own world.

But even among the craziness of life,

my life is pretty damn sweet.

So I'll savor these moments,

the ebbs and the flows.

Afterall...it's all we have.

Some quotes from my Journal today...

Hurry is not God's nature

Take a break from trying to figure everything out.

"In a sane culture children would learn to follow their 

inner guidance from the beginning.

Nothing to fear & everything to gain."

"The city cannot be built on the swampy ground of skepticism."

~ Albert Schweitzer~

"Move but don't move the way fear makes you move."

"God doesn't always call on us to win.

Sometimes He just calls us to try."

xoxo

💝

 

July Journal

We celebrated our ninth wedding anniversary.

Together for 13.

Brandon and his friends celebrated his Dad's birthday

out on the lake. They witnessed one of their friends drown.

Our hearts are heavy.

This week Brandon listed his house, so he can buy one 

and get settled in with his best friend/girlfriend three hours away.

I passed my 3rd. test at IIN, and am cleared to

start coaching.

 My first client comes Wednesday.

Hubby is doing well, and has been back to work.

It is his happy place.

Some writings and quotes from my journal this month:

"There will be times in your life when your hands are tied,

your mouth is shut, your mind is blank, & you feel totally

helpless. These are God jobs."

"There is nothing more challenging than sitting through a God job"

Healing is a detox process. Things come up that 

need to be released.

Sometimes, falling apart- getting it all out-

is how we get put back together.

God will reveal areas of our heart that He wants to heal.

(yup)

God can only take from us what we are willing to give Him.

What we've looked at.

"You can only be where you are, & it is up to you to make the best of it.

You cannot get to where you are going until you have learned

all there is to learn about where you are."

"You are capable of much more than you think possible."

JUST SAW A CHIPMUNK !!!💝 

"Sometimes the most infinitesimal unexpected change can shift everything"

" The reason you may have missed the lessons to be learned,

or refused the gifts being offered right where you are,

is you are preoccupied with where you want to be."

"Ever' thing there is but lovin' leaves a rust on yo' soul."

~Langston Hughes~

" Do not look at where you fell, but where you slipped."

"Serenity isn't the freedom from the storms of life.

It's the calm in the middle of the storm that gets me through.

It's up to me to try to keep this calm,

even when the storm gets worse."

"Fear prevents you from showing us in your greatest capacity."

Fear thrives where trust is lacking.

Everyone deserves the right to be who they truly are.

Including you.

"The only thing that defines our journey is not how others treat us,

 but how we respond to others.

How someone treats you is their journey.

How you respond is your journey."

I can love others and not forfeit love & respect to myself.

"Self-pity is a slimy bottomless pit."

Stop trying to figure everything out!

Respect what you need & trust your intuition.

Wherever you are, be there totally.

" When you let others expectations drive you,

you scatter your energy to the winds."

"Find the spirit that you share in common.

Then you will have a resource for strength

rather than a target for negative thinking"

In demanding attention from someone else,

you are giving away pieces of yourself that are too valuable to lose.

Ease up on yourself. Let go. Stop trying so hard.

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."

"....to be on pause is a good thing. Everything has to stop

at some point in order to keep going.

Unless you pause, you may not know if you are

fast forwarding or going in reverse."

Stop. Refuel. Reset.

My pain is my pain.

It is the result of what I am telling myself about myself & others,

about situations or circumstances.

I have the power to move through all things 

I would rather not remember.

I  make a commitment to honor everything about me.

"Allow your each-ness to shine in the all-ness of life."

Do not be afraid to be different from other people.

"What you do, how you do it, and when you do it affects 

every person in front of you and every person  coming behind you."

"That which leads us away from love is never our friend, never

true self-care, and never from God."

"Each time you say I can't, you dim your inner light.

Each time you are able to acknowledge, accept and embrace the truth

about yourself, your light becomes a little brighter.

Turn on the power of your light by remembering who you are."

When you believe you can, you can!

"It takes time to get self-love into the core of us."

When you get flustered and frazzled with yourself, 

do not get upset. You are only human.

"This is life, not a funeral service. Have fun.

Enter it. Take risks. Be spontaneous.

Don't always worry about doing the appropriate thing.

Do not worry about what others think or say.

Do not worry about making a mistake.

Enjoy the gift of being alive.

Be who you are! Free yourself, let yourself go

and enter a full life. Begin enjoying life."

~God~

"We often have what we really want and need, or sometimes better.

Letting go is part of what we do to get it."

God is in every tomorrow.

xoxo

💞

 

Suicide

I am in unchartered territory.

I'm not sure what to do during these times.

Emotions are so strong...

the taking of his own life, so traumatic.

A childhood friend, a part of my family back home.

I'll figure it out as I go,

breathe deeply & move forward.

It's OK to not know what to do.

" Though you had to let go of this world to find peace,

we hold onto your memory in our hearts, so you live forever."

R.I.P Bob

we love you and will miss you.

(Feb 16 2024)

xoxo

💔

 

Loss and Love

This week my nephew lost his granny.

She will be buried beside his Mom. (pic)

What could have darkened our week,

just reminded us a lot about what it most important.

Love.

Love is the one thing every soul needs.

Let everyone know how much you love them and

how they've touched you in good profound ways.

 Appreciate them. 

Tell them how grateful

you are to have them in your life, 

and how valuable they are to you.

 Be thankful for the people

that rekindle you inner spirit.

xoxo

💗

 

It's Okay

This morning I was sitting at the table basking in the sunshine

streaming through the open doors,

a book on my lap, and a mug of coffee in my hand.

I looked down to read, and felt something 

brush my face.

Startled at first, I jumped, then became seriously still.

A finch had flown in and landed on the table beside me.

It sat there a sweet magical moment, 

then flew away.

This has been a rough week.

A good friend lost his brother.

A friend back home, lost his mom.

One of my sister-friends has been very sick,

and her cat passed this morning.

Another sister-friend staying for the weekend to restore

from a challenging week of her own.

Hubby has been super busy 

and we need rain on the farm for the cows.

Things are just off... not bad, just life.

The same circumstances two years ago 

  would probably have sent me to a corner bobbing and 

eating my hair!

I've come a long way.

I know everything will be OK.

If your going through a rough patch, 

I heard these words this morning,

and they are a good reminder to be gentle with yourself.

"It's OK is things don't turn out how you expect them to.

It's OK to adjust course and choose another path.

It's OK is you don't have all the answers right now.

It's OK to be a beginner, and be clumsy at something

you've never done before.

It's OK if it all takes time.

It's OK to feel feelings, whatever they may be.

It's OK if you don't feel OK.

It's OK to ask for help.

It's OK to rest, even when there is a lot to do.

It's OK if you need to take a break from growing &

make space to just be."

It's OK to be gentle with yourself, and to take time

to nourish your soul.

xoxo💖

 

Pursue

" It is easy to let the outer workings of

daily life sidetrack you on the way to your dreams.

But stay focused. 

Remind yourself often of what matters

most to you, and relentlessly

pursue it."

Feeling thankful for:

the kindness of strangers

small town businesses

hosting my first Friendsgiving

laughing with friends

being OK

kids that remind us to lighten up and play

good car insurance

My Dad, who always says the right things, just when I need them.

Kisses and hugs...and " I love you SO much" (s) from little monkeys.

xoxo

💖

 

Loss

We got Bun 7 years ago before Brandon left for college.

She has been shared between our homes,

 and loved fiercely by us and our other fur-kids.

Yesterday she passed.

 Our hearts are heavy.

 Love and loss.

💔

xoxo

Ollie

"Simple kindness to one's self and all that lives

is the most powerful transformational force of all.

It produces no backlash, has no downside, and never leads 

to loss or despair.

It increases one's true power without exacting

any toll."

 Love. Loss. More love.

Ollie passed away last weekend.

It's so hard.

There are all the empty spaces where he isn't any more.

Pets are definitely a gift, and I am grateful for the short time

we enjoyed this sweet little guy.

We are not sure what happened.

It happened so quick.

I still had his morning slice of banana in my hand,

petting him with my other.

Then in a flash, he was gone.

Be safe, and stay well.

💔

Reflecting

April.

It started out weird....and never quite righted it's self.

From what I've been hearing.... I think it's been a "thing"

for a lot of us.

Have you had a weird month too ?

Truth is...I feel like I lived 120 days, 

in one month.

The loss of Oliver just made everything more weighty & complicated. 💔

BUT, as I sit here looking back....

 heartache, chaos and weirdness aside,...

there have been wonderful little gifts tucked away.

The simple, little things.

There have been days like this.

" When you focus on what you don't have

 or on situations that displease you,

your mind also becomes darkened.

You take for granted life, sunshine, flowers

and countless gifts from Me."

~ Jesus Calling ~

I hope you find and enjoy the simple, little gifts 

tucked away in your weekend.💛

XOXO

Listening

Because yesterday she grabbed my hand,

and we walked around the yard and talked

about the little things.

She didn't know Oliver had passed away,

and it made her a little sad.

But then she looked at me, and said

that Oliver and Jesse [her dog] were in heaven playing together.

I said  "Yes" 

And we agreed that they would both be happy

 to have each other

to play with.

And it made us feel better too.

Still holding tight to my hand...

 we searched for dandelions to wish on...

and she explained how,

" There are two kinds of dandelions. The yellow

ones...then the white ones. Those are the ones

you can make wishes on."

She then, picked a white one from the ground,

  squeezed her eyes shut, made her wish, and blew.

I made a wish too... 

I hope that all her special little wishes comes true. :)

XOXO

Sidetracked

I always feel a little blue this time of year.

How I wish I could wrap all of my loved ones up...and put them

under my tree ! [I know. That would be weird. But  you get the idea.]

Yep ! I'd love it !

I was trying to get my Christmas cards made out.

 I came to my Aunt Sandy's address.

[tissue please]

It's strange how one little thing can change the whole 

direction of your day, isn't it ?

I suddenly came down with a good case of the mopeys.

So of course I did the only rational thing to do.....

spots Dr. Daddy

I took the boys out to the country for a walk.

So, long story short.

I didn't get my Christmas cards done.

Hope you have a great week.

Be well.

XOXO

Sister

Because....

I married into a family, that gave me a sister.

Her husband recently passed away, and she has returned home to lay him to rest.

I love that she asked to stay with us.

For a week we have shared our stories our hearts, and our love for God.

sister-in-law Joy

I wish it hadn't taken something so sad

to get this time with her...

but so thankful that we had it.

I have SO appreciated her positive attitude, and her strength.

I admire, the way she makes time for the people she loves,

and her way of letting the people she loves know,

WITHOUT A DOUBT how much they mean to her.

This time has filled me with love, hope, and a certainty

that life IS truly what we make it.

She is an inspiration...

and a Joy. :)

[Love you Joy !]

I hope that you are having a great week...

and know...without a doubt,

that  you are loved too !

XOXO

Rainy

" Most folks are as happy as they

make up their minds to be. "

Because it was a stormy Saturday,

and the inconvenience of the wind and the rain

made it more fun...

probably even fueled our happy.

His happy...taking the ATV in for tires
My happy....time to practice manual mode on camera.

His happy....visiting with a friend and changing tires.
My happy....thunder storms, big puddles, and rain droplets on the window.

His happy....catching me being sneaky.
My happy....getting caught being sneaky.

His happy....sweet memories.
My happy....sweet stories...beautiful flowers.

His happy....Simone burgers.
My happy....sitting on a park bench , eating out of a paper bag,
listening to him share the history
of the park. A cool breeze...& rain falling from the trees.

His happy....my wavy hair.
My happy...drinking from the spring with medicinal values.

His happy....taking the ATV out to call the calves in.
My happy....the cool front hitting. Slipping into hubby's extra flannel shirt
crumpled on the seat.

His happy....me sitting behind him.
My happy.... getting to put my legs up on his. Boots & sandals.

His happy....when they follow.
My happy....when hubby slows down so I can snap a few shots...
and they catch up to us.

His happy....
My happy....

Our happy...this.
Family being home.

Do you ever have one of those days

that you take the moments as they come ?

No expectations....just a mind-set to enjoy,

or at the very least observe life as it unfolds that day ?

Let it flow how it would flow with out tying to change it's direction ?

Just make [hopefully] good choices when you have to choose,

but let life be in the drivers seat ?

Yeah....those are usually the best ones.

XOXO

Loss

“Don’t be afraid of death;

 be afraid of an un-lived life.

 You don’t have to live forever;

 you just have to live.” 

Because this week I lost someone special.

Someone that lived every day to the fullest.

Someone that wasn't afraid to grasp life with both hands and kiss it's face off.

Someone that took a broken and lost girl, and moved her to Missouri.

I feel a deep ache from the loss... and an overwhelming gratitude

for having him in my life.

my brother & Randy with his dog.

"A real spirit lives in the present. They save their money, yet they enjoy every single day of their life no matter how shitty. Because they are able to love every day, they are able to spread this vibe to others without trying. It’s all in the way of thinking. They don’t try to do this, it just happens."

Thank you Randy. You were loved by many,

and your passion for life will be an inspiration to the lives you touched.

XOXO

Sad

Because I had a choice.

I could let sadness kick my butt...

or walk away.

So I grabbed my camera, and put on my boots.

*grateful for....

 my Aunt, and the memories that we shared. her love. 

a rainy weekend to slow things down

a sweet little side-kick to keep me entertained

dodging the rain and splashing in puddles.

swishy ponytails

my hubby's love & understanding

plenty of ice-cream....my comfort food of choice

sweet friends

my wonderful family

XOXO