Surrender and Faith

Good morning,

I was sitting here wondering what to share today.

I am so excited with this inner peace I am feeling,

that I want to shout praises all day!

This year has been all about surrender, growth and healing for me.

I made it a commitment at the beginning of the year, and as best

I could, I stuck with it.

It has been one of the hardest years of my life.

It's hard to let go of control, especially when you don't even realize

that it's a problem.

It's hard to let go of blame...

when you thought it was justified.

Hard to admit to faults, when you realize you have them.

Hard to unlearn things you've learned.

It's hard to be who we are, when we have always

tried to be what  we thought others wanted, or what worked, or what kept us alive.

I had a lot of messed up habits, and thoughts about who I was.

I operated on auto-pilot. Sorta.

I know that now...not then.

Then. Not even a year ago.

I was determined to get un-stuck.

I made the decision to keep an open mind,

trust in God, and follow my heart (not head).

Not an easy task.

I thought I knew what I wanted, what was best for me, how my life should look,

and who was to blame if the picture wasn't quite turning out as I planned.

I look back on how crazy it all seems today.

I talk about my faith, and support groups and such...

which all leads me to God. 

You may call it whatever you like. Higher power, the universe...or whatever,

but for me, it's God.

I didn't grow up with much church or religion,

however I did have exposure to it, and family who believed.

 I was scared of God. 

Now that thought makes me sad.

I have not always had my family close, so when there was no one there

to talk to, to cry with, or to turn to for counsel or comfort...

I learned that I could turn to God.

I have been on a personal journey with Him for 27 years now.

When I was pregnant with my kiddo, I got baptized at our Christian Church.

I have been committed to having a relationship with God ever since.

 Like any relationship,

it takes determination, devotion and dedication.

 Best commitment I've ever made.

This year, putting my focus on surrender,  has moved me up a level.

I didn't know how to surrender. 

I lived life in survival mode.

I thought surrender was giving up, weak...passive, defeating.

It actually took more strength and courage then anything I've done.

And the truth is...it's also been the most liberating, and empowering.

It has taught me to trust in the unknown. (God for me)

Here are some journal notes and quotes I'd like to share:

"Surrendering means to stop fighting, stop resisting, stop acting like

your life depends on you having all the power over everything and everyone.

It doesn't."

When you believe this, your resisting the natural unfolding of things.

What are you afraid might happen if you let go of  control?

You might think that controlling makes you happier,

it just makes life harder.

"It's not that you have to find the answers,

you are the answer."

" You spend your whole life waiting for the calvary,

all the while never realizing you are the calvary.

Your life is waiting on you to finally show up."

Take the time to think, ponder, and experiment for yourself.

(yes! I wouldn't trade this year in for anything!)

" There is no greater knowledge than the knowledge you have

verified for yourself,

in your own experiences."

"Stop blaming luck. Stop blaming other people.

Stop pointing to outside influences or circumstances."

( I read this and cringe.... I was so good at it too!)

" If you're not willing to take the actions to change your situation-

in other words, if you're willing to put up with your situation-

then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen."

" Accept that while there are things that happened in your life that you 

had no say in, however, you are 100% responsible for what you do with your life.

 Always, every time, no excuses."

Be willing to let go, willing to change, willing to accept.

Be willing to engage in life with a new perspective.

" When you have faith the size of a mustard seed and abandon

yourself and all the details of your life to it,

your greater-yet-to-be bursts forth."

Surrender is a tough thing.

 A year into it...and I still let-go-take-back.

My little trick has been,

that whenever I'd start to engage in worry or self-pity (or

one of the other horrible habits I have been trying to change...)

 I would switch my focus to one of letting go, and surrendering.

Trust.

(Repeat as needed.)

 I have over time, formed a healthier habit that works better for me.

I still worry, but it no longer takes center stage...

which has giving me more time to enjoy my life.

Hallelujah!

"Live carefree before God, He is most careful with you."

" Living in union with Me makes you more fully   yourself." ~Jesus

Be well!

xoxo

💖