Self-acceptance

Some mornings I wake up and have to remind myself:

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME !

I have patterns to unlearn and wounds to heal.

That's all.

There is nothing wrong wrong with the core of who I am.

I'm unlearning...

and learning.

That takes time.

God speaks to me when I read His words.

Today I will share with you these little morsels,

I copied in my journal this week.

'Together, you and I can sort out what is important and what is not.'

'You will realize that most of the things aren't important.

shrug them off immediately and return to your focus to Me.'

'Every morning begin your day with fresh compassions.

Don't let yesterday's failures weigh you down.'

'I can turn your life around in the most miraculous ways.'

'Ask My Spirit to quiet your mind so that you can

hear My still, small voice within you.'

'I am speaking to you continuously: words of life, peace, love.'

'I will answer your questions & show you what steps to take next,

and give you understanding.'

'I lovingly meet you in the place of your neediness.'

'I can do absolutely anything in your life-

even what looks absolutely impossible.'

'Trust Me regardless of how challenging your circumstances appear.'

'Go off-duty for a while, trusting that I am watching over your and working on your behalf.'

'My healing work within you is most effective when you

are resting in My wonderful care.'

'This is the path I have set before you.

As you follow it wholeheartedly, you experience abundant life & peace.'

'I empower you to do far more than you could ever do on your own.

Don't be intimidated by challenging circumstances or tough times.'

'Conduct a constant re-defining session with yourself,

so that moment-by-moment you catch My definition 

of who and what you are.'

'Do not allow yesterdays garbage to influence your experience today.'

'It is always My plan for you to give up the hurt, resentment,

& bitterness that have came about because of other peoples actions.'

(I struggle here.)

'When you forgive, your releasing the matter so I can do the miraculous though it.'

'Even when it's difficult, let go.'

'Allow Me to have my perfect way in your situation.'

'It grieves me to see you working harder & harder to be loved.'

'I love and delight in you.'

'I can smooth out all the tangled-up places,

including those in your mind and heart.'

'I am here to help you untangle your complex problems and find the best way forward.'

'Be willing to live with unresolved problems,

but don't let them be your focus.'

'Don't waste energy lamenting bad things over which  you have no control.

Focus your energies on doing what you can to brighten the place where I have put you.'

'Pray-fully seek to understand where others are coming from

especially when their words or actions confuse or upset you.'

'Turn back to Me and stop your silly efforts to save yourself.' 

Quote:

" Life is funny. It's a trip, a wild ride, and adventure of the soul.

No soul came into this human earth thinking,

'And I better get it right this time!'

Our souls came here seeking the kind of adventure 

and growth that often goes backward to go forward."

Notes to self:

Fear: Acknowledge. Confront. Trust yourself. Move forward.

Inadequacy: Accept. Embrace. Thank God.

This frees you from trying to be what you are not.

Trust in the process, it takes time to develop.

Remember self-trust is the foundation of your ability to trust.

God has a gift to give to the world as you.💖

Be well!

xoxo

💖

 

Details

" God didn't create the world

and step back to admire it.

He painted himself into the picture."

I love this capture from last night.  

We decided to go to the local festival with some friends.

We have not been in years.

I read that quote this morning....and it just 

reminded me of how I felt in the moment that I took this shot.

Wait!

 Now that I think about it,

 that is where the seed was planted for photography.

Those moments where I just felt...

more.

I can't deny the fact that there is great comfort

in this small town of ours, and the traditions

that dwell here.

I love it!

It's true that...

"God is in the details."

In the midst of the noisy and the obvious,

it's nice to pause every so often simply to 

 value the small, the quiet and the subtle.

Sometimes we think that if we stop or slow down, we're going to miss something.

When in fact, when we don't take that time to be present,

we could miss everything.

Be well.

xoxo

💖

 

What if...

"What if we stopped celebrating being busy

as a measurement of importance?

What if instead we celebrated how much time spent

listening, pondering, meditating and

 enjoying time with the most important

people in our lives?"

What if greatness was made up of all the little things?

The little moments of  our daily lives.

What if we choose to make the most of the moments 

right in front of us now?

Even during our smallest of tasks...

what if we focused and committed ourselves

as much as possible?

After all, the little things all add up in the long run.

Let's all practice being great in the smallest of ways.

Be well...

xoxo

💖

 

Cherokee Tale

It's rainy and cool this morning, 

 and I am sitting here by an open window with coffee in hand,

 listening to the birds sing.

Jag alskar det!

(I love it!)

I  just finished my EFT tapping meditation.

I am so hooked ! 

I have been at it for 27 days now, 

 & 60 sessions later....I can honestly say, 

it has been a perfect addition to my self-care routine.

Today's daily inspiration was from an Old Cherokee teaching.

I loved listening to this favorite tale to start the day.

This teaching is sometimes

referred to as The Tale of Two Wolves.

"One evening an elderly grandfather was telling his grandson

about the inner conflicts within him.

He says to his grandson, " A fight is going on inside me.

 It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves.

1 is evil, he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,

false pride and ego."

He continues " The other is good, he is joy, peace, love,

hope, humility, kindness, compassion and faith."

He looked at his grandson and went on.

The same fight is going on inside you and every other person too.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and asked

his grandfather, "Which wolf will win? "

The grandfather replied simply " The one you feed."

It's feels good to have perspective and focus.

We can't change what's going on around us

until we change what is going on within us.

Our willingness to look at our darkness 

is what empowers us to change.

And when we can no longer change a situation,

we are challenged to change ourselves.

God lovingly meets us in our willingness to 

walk through those dark places.

Even when things feel restrictive, or don't make sense,

trust that all will be well for you,

and do what's good and right in His sight.

Be well!

xoxo

💖

 

Pollyfrog

If you put the cat outside,

chances are she's going to want to play.

...and when she finds something like a frog to play with,

she just might want to show it to her mama.

...and chances are if she shows it to her mama,

she might get that toy taken away.

...and if that happens,

 chances are her mama will place it in the birdbath.

...so if it ends up in the birdbath,

mama has saved the poor soul, then decided to have some fun with it too.

"When you try to control too much,

you enjoy too little.

Sometimes you just need to let go, relax,

take a deep breath and love what is."

xoxo

💗

 

Surrender and Faith

Good morning,

I was sitting here wondering what to share today.

I am so excited with this inner peace I am feeling,

that I want to shout praises all day!

This year has been all about surrender, growth and healing for me.

I made it a commitment at the beginning of the year, and as best

I could, I stuck with it.

It has been one of the hardest years of my life.

It's hard to let go of control, especially when you don't even realize

that it's a problem.

It's hard to let go of blame...

when you thought it was justified.

Hard to admit to faults, when you realize you have them.

Hard to unlearn things you've learned.

It's hard to be who we are, when we have always

tried to be what  we thought others wanted, or what worked, or what kept us alive.

I had a lot of messed up habits, and thoughts about who I was.

I operated on auto-pilot. Sorta.

I know that now...not then.

Then. Not even a year ago.

I was determined to get un-stuck.

I made the decision to keep an open mind,

trust in God, and follow my heart (not head).

Not an easy task.

I thought I knew what I wanted, what was best for me, how my life should look,

and who was to blame if the picture wasn't quite turning out as I planned.

I look back on how crazy it all seems today.

I talk about my faith, and support groups and such...

which all leads me to God. 

You may call it whatever you like. Higher power, the universe...or whatever,

but for me, it's God.

I didn't grow up with much church or religion,

however I did have exposure to it, and family who believed.

 I was scared of God. 

Now that thought makes me sad.

I have not always had my family close, so when there was no one there

to talk to, to cry with, or to turn to for counsel or comfort...

I learned that I could turn to God.

I have been on a personal journey with Him for 27 years now.

When I was pregnant with my kiddo, I got baptized at our Christian Church.

I have been committed to having a relationship with God ever since.

 Like any relationship,

it takes determination, devotion and dedication.

 Best commitment I've ever made.

This year, putting my focus on surrender,  has moved me up a level.

I didn't know how to surrender. 

I lived life in survival mode.

I thought surrender was giving up, weak...passive, defeating.

It actually took more strength and courage then anything I've done.

And the truth is...it's also been the most liberating, and empowering.

It has taught me to trust in the unknown. (God for me)

Here are some journal notes and quotes I'd like to share:

"Surrendering means to stop fighting, stop resisting, stop acting like

your life depends on you having all the power over everything and everyone.

It doesn't."

When you believe this, your resisting the natural unfolding of things.

What are you afraid might happen if you let go of  control?

You might think that controlling makes you happier,

it just makes life harder.

"It's not that you have to find the answers,

you are the answer."

" You spend your whole life waiting for the calvary,

all the while never realizing you are the calvary.

Your life is waiting on you to finally show up."

Take the time to think, ponder, and experiment for yourself.

(yes! I wouldn't trade this year in for anything!)

" There is no greater knowledge than the knowledge you have

verified for yourself,

in your own experiences."

"Stop blaming luck. Stop blaming other people.

Stop pointing to outside influences or circumstances."

( I read this and cringe.... I was so good at it too!)

" If you're not willing to take the actions to change your situation-

in other words, if you're willing to put up with your situation-

then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen."

" Accept that while there are things that happened in your life that you 

had no say in, however, you are 100% responsible for what you do with your life.

 Always, every time, no excuses."

Be willing to let go, willing to change, willing to accept.

Be willing to engage in life with a new perspective.

" When you have faith the size of a mustard seed and abandon

yourself and all the details of your life to it,

your greater-yet-to-be bursts forth."

Surrender is a tough thing.

 A year into it...and I still let-go-take-back.

My little trick has been,

that whenever I'd start to engage in worry or self-pity (or

one of the other horrible habits I have been trying to change...)

 I would switch my focus to one of letting go, and surrendering.

Trust.

(Repeat as needed.)

 I have over time, formed a healthier habit that works better for me.

I still worry, but it no longer takes center stage...

which has giving me more time to enjoy my life.

Hallelujah!

"Live carefree before God, He is most careful with you."

" Living in union with Me makes you more fully   yourself." ~Jesus

Be well!

xoxo

💖

 

Codependent

Codependency:

A tendency to do more than their share, all the time.

A tendency to become hurt when people don't recognize their efforts.

An unhealthy dependence on relationships.

The co-dependent will do anything to hold onto a relationship;

to avoid the feeling of abandonment.

An extreme need for approval and recognition.

(I think we all can relate...but when you lose yourself in it....it's time to get help)

Every day, there is so much I want to share.

At one point in time, I was so consumed with my own struggles...

I could not even put anything into words.

Or some days, I had so much I wanted to say....yet, I would doubt myself.

I feared opening up, judgement, and Lord help me....

more rejection.

I thank God for the quotes and such, to express what I can't or wouldn't say.

Today I want to share. Today I want to write.

I want to be real, raw, unfiltered, and write as I do in my journal, only to you.

Truth is...I have struggled most of my life with feelings of unworthiness,

rejection, shame, and a zillion other little things.

And I know....it's a human thing. It's not just me.

Struggling is a part of being on this earth.

This is just my experience.

I've battled depression, isolation, anxiety and so much fear.

I've spent time in counseling.

I've clung with unfailing hope onto my faith.

And honestly...it was my faith that brought

 me to where I am today.

Faith is what guided me towards getting support.

I know I've mentioned my support group in the past. 

 It's a support group that helps me with...

Codependency. 

Gosh...I used to feel so much shame to even admit I needed help. 

But to ask for it, and to admit to being codependent?

Brutal.

Yet...

it's the BEST thing I have ever done for myself in a very long time.

I have learned so much about letting go, allowing and acceptance.

I have been surrounded by some of the most honest, humble

and genuine people I've ever met.

I went to my group yesterday.

They help me put things into perspective.

I always leave feeling like a better person than 

when I went in.

I  met with my kiddo afterwards, and we grabbed lunch downtown.

I  enjoyed sitting outside and our chat.

Our server was super-fun too. 

What a great afternoon.

I still feel all glow-y inside.

So for today,  I wanted to share out of a wonderful journal I received over 

a year ago in the mail.

It was from my girlfriend back home.

She has been a huge support in my healing. (Thanks Moe)

It is called " The Language of Letting Go" Journal.

It pretty much sums up the process I've been going through this year.

There has been a LOT of shifting perspective, and facing my own truths.

Not an easy task, I have far to go... but I thank God for it!

"When we are soul searching, be it for the smaller or larger decisions we face during the day,

we can learn to ask, is it good for me?...

Is this what I really want?...

Is this what I need?...

Does the direction feel right for me?...

Or am I succumbing to the control and influence that I sometimes allow  others to have over me?

It is not unhealthy selfishness to question if something is good for us.

That is an old way of thinking.

To ask if something is good for us is a healthy behavior,

not to be ashamed of, and will probably work out in the other person's best interest too.

We shall not wander down a selfish path of self-indulgence by asking if a thing is good for us.

We shall not stray from God's intended plan,

God's highest good, by asking if a thing is good for us.

By asking ourselves this simple question, we participate in directing

our life toward the highest good and purpose; 

we own our power to hold ourselves n self-esteem."

"Today, I will begin acting in my best interests.

I will do this with the understanding that,

on occasion, my choices will not please everyone around me.

I will do this with the understanding that asking if a thing is good for me will ultimately

help me take true responsibility for my life and my choices."

Be well!

xoxo

💖 

 

Let it Go

I had a wonderful morning sitting in the backyard.

My alone time, with Jesus, and nature, and all the fresh-new

morning vibes.

I wanted to share my journal jots today,

but I am on my way out to see my support group, and my kiddo today.

Life is good.

It's getting better.

God is good.

This song popped up on my playlist, and it really hit me in the feels.

It is so relatable right now.

Not that every song on my playlist isn't...

but this one had me praising with my make-up brush in hand,

plus... there may have been a little dancing going on as well.

With God's help, regardless of our circumstances,

we can feel more alive in our moments, and enjoy life with a little more zest.

As long as we do our best...

God will indeed do the rest.

He is doing a change in me.

xoxo

💖

Appreciation

"What if all you had to do was slow down long enough

for the merry-go-round blur of life to come to focus?"

Quote that fits me this week:

"Imagine the woman you want to be.

Think of what her daily life,

her habits, and routines would be.

Start showing up to those habits and routines'

start building them, step by step,

and day by day.

You don't become her like magic. 

You build. Start building."

"Try loving yourself 

instead of loving the idea of other people loving you."

"When you've spent your whole life listening to others,

it takes courage to pay attention to the sound of your own voice."

" Take back control of the things you can change-

and put in the effort required to actually change-

but learn to accept the things you cannot change."

And last but not least... quote from a friend.

"Life takes a lot of faith, courage, and humbition."

(humility + ambition)

It's so true.

xoxo

💖

 

Happy

I moving forward into the next season of life..

...one step at a time.

I am happy today.

I'm on a path with no idea what's up ahead,

but I'm okay with that.

I honestly value who I am becoming over

where I end up. 

For the first time in years, I am feeling calm and peaceful inside.

"Learn to be present and engaged in the present moment.

Be happy with what you have, what you know and 

who you are right now.

Don't allow your mind to trick you

into thinking that you won't be happy until you get 

where you want to get."

xoxo

💖

 

Understanding

" Today is all the time I have.

Nobody can keep me from using it well.

If I make this a good day,

tomorrow can be even better."

Some journal entries, and what I am starting to understand:

That I can trust in myself. I don't have to know that I am doing the right thing.

All I need to know is that I am doing what feels right for me.

That I don't want to focus overly much on what's ahead of me- that 

this moment is enough to be enjoyed.

That sometimes the ways that I was trying to fill my needs,

  actually caused me to feel emptier and more depleted.

That who I am and what I become is largely affected by how I think.

That I have to guard myself from negative influences,

so that I don't find myself squeezed into a destructive mold.

That I am becoming more tuned in to how I am actually living my life.

That I can grab the important lessons from the past, 

and make better decisions for the future.

That anytime I wake up and realize I don't like what I am becoming,

I just need to move in a new direction. It's not easy. But I have to do it 

anyway and give myself a little grace and time to get there.

xoxo

💕

 

Right Path

Perspective is everything.

"Learn to take good of your mind, body, heart and soul.

Meditate, spend time alone, take a walk and explore nature with your senses.

Write about your thoughts and feelings, do something your passionate about.

Go out with your friends, laugh, dance, be silly, be weird, be playful, be childlike.

Do all the things that bring you joy and laughter.

Take your focus away from those things that cause you to feel pain, stress, anxiety,

fear and unhappiness, onto things that make your heart sing,

onto those things that make you happy."

This week:

Reading: The Lincoln Highway by Armor Towles

Learning: tapping Meditation, and today... I hit day #200 on learning Swedish.

Favorite quote: " If you cannot make yourself what you would like to be,

how can you expect to have another person exactly to your wishes?

We want to see others perfect, yet our own faults go unattended."

Appreciating:  Going to the theater with hubby to see the movie

"Where The Crawdads Sing"

Wondering: if someone tells me I look like Robin Penn, 

if I can see the resemblance?

 I googled it. The verdict is still out. 

Goals: decluttering and organizing our home.

Feeling: Happy my Dad called to chat today.

xoxo

💖