Codependent Stuff

I thought I would share a little bit more about Codependency

today.

The reason being, is that I remember all the self-help books,

counseling, struggles, and lack of direction I had.

I remember always feeling like something was wrong with me.

(so I became a self-help junkie)

I constantly searched for the answers to why I felt

lost, directionless, confused, insecure, scared, alone,

and a sense of not belonging. I blamed others for my unhappiness.

 What was wrong with me?

When my counselor suggested a book on

codependency (in 2021),

I remember opening it up, and everything

starting to make more sense.

I felt relieved. 

I wasn't crazy after all...

I was codependent.

I am going to share a few questions and quotes from my 

"Codependent No More" book/workbook.

It took me so long to find the help I needed,

and a lot of counseling.

I hope this helps someone discover their own answers.

"Survival behaviors are what people do when they don't

know what else to do."

" Survival behaviors are what people do when they don't have other 

options for dealing with overwhelming situations.

Sometimes survival behavior is the best we can do.

Without help we don't have any other options."

"For so many years we thought other people held the key

to our happiness."

" Most people with codependency issues feel genuinely unlovable."

Questions to ponder:

(* codependency behavior)

"What's the motivation for what you're doing?

Because you made a conscious decision to do it,

or

are you *acting from guilt or obligation?

Are you *choosing to give or giving compulsively without

thinking about what you are doing?

Are you *hoping someone will like or love you if you do 

something for, or give something to, her or him?

Do you feel lovable and likable, and have self-esteem?

Or do you *have to prove those things to other people and yourself?

How do you feel when you're done doing the behavior?

Do you *feel resentful, used and victimized?

Or do you feel comfortable with and responsible for your choices?"

" Codependency recovery helps people get and keep a life.

Sometimes it saves their life too."

" A codependent person is one who lets another person's 

behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with

controlling that behavior."

"Not only can we lovingly detach from other people

and take care of ourselves, it is our primary responsibility

in life to do that."

I didn't waste anytime in finding a codependency support group.

I found a group that met in a church near me.

The first day I went....I was so dang scared. 

I remember before the meeting was half over though, 

I'd already felt a sense of belonging, acceptance and

love washing over me.

 It was one of the smartest & best choices I think I've ever made.

I also found many groups online.

Sometimes I do that too,

but I prefer to be with my peeps.

I will be sharing more quotes, notes, and thoughts about codependency as

I continue my healing journey.

It is something so many of us struggle with,

but aren't even aware of it.  

I wish I had more awareness sooner,

however, I trust that life is unfolding as it needs to for me,

and I am unbelievably grateful.

"Taking care of myself is a big job.

No wonder I avoided it for so long."

xoxo

💝