Restoration

I'm feeling completely renewed from my trip home.

I think I'll relish in the aftermath for a while.

"My soul got to stretch & relax completely,

like a racehorse given a good run."

Anyhoo...

here are some little bits & scribbles from my journal this month:

Stay curious.

Your mind-set about what you have to do makes a tremendous difference.

Remember when you focus on the truly important things in your life,

the simpler it will be.

Take note of what happens when you trust God,

and build a supply of positive spiritual experiences.

Wisdom means knowing when to stop and listen to yourself,

& to God rather than rush into an action or decision.

Wisdom means learning to mine the diamonds 

hidden in the problems.

There are amazing benefits of sticking to things

that are uncomfortable.

Change your relationship with discomfort.

" You can't see the starts without the darkness."

Be present each moment for yourself and the people you love.

We only get one breath at a time.

Thank the people who bless you.

Whatever happens today is part of your journey.

Every moment carries a gift.

May I receive it, and pass it on.

There is a plan for you life. Don't worry about what it is.

You'll know what you need to know at the time.

Look inward not backward.

Walk ahead in the light.

Do some soul searching, examine your thoughts &

attitudes. Get to know your true self.

Facing the truth stinks sometimes,

but it's the beginning of a life worth living.

Humility is the doorway to a simple, 

yet powerful life, lived joyfully,

Humility values peace over proving one is right.

Differences become problems when we choose to measure

ourselves by our differences to determine whose right and whose wrong.

My problem isn't life itself,

it is my approach to living that causes me the most difficulty.

Life is a gentle teacher.

My approach to life is my own decision, & nobody can

make me miserable if I decide I am going to be happy.

The path won't always be smooth,

but the changes will transform my life.

Nothing good comes from complacency.

Don't miss the moments of reshaping.

"If my problems have brought me to prayer,

then they have served a purpose."

" The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive.

The great opportunity is where you are."

Just because I can't see the possibility doesn't mean 

it's not there.

Give up the preconceived notions about people,

circumstances and the way things should be.

Ask yourself what is really important and then

find the wisdom & courage to build your life around that answer.

Who do I want to become?

I let go. Turn it over. Keep it simple.

Simplicity is natures default.

Drop the non-essential clutter that surrounds your shining self.

Your life is too important to waste waiting for someone else's

choices, even when it's someone you love dearly.

Courageously release all that is outgrown and stagnant.

" God's gifts put man's best dreams to shame."

xoxo

💝

 

You Learn

We are on our way for pizza, and I am reading a book out loud.

It was talking about childhood, connecting, and belonging.

The tears just started to flow.

I welcome them. I've learned it's better to feel & release

than to push down and hold those feelings inside.

It hit a tender spot in me.

I remind myself continuously that it is all a process.

xoxo

💗

Less is More

I am sitting at my open window, trying to come up with

the words to match what is going on inside.

I hear my neighbor working in his yard.

He turns on his Christian station, and

starts to sing.

I feel the breeze on my back.

He sings louder.

I smile.

I glance over a few snapshots from this week...

the picnic with my kiddo, my neighbors new baby chicks,

the wildflowers blooming.

I smile.

The snapshots of my kiddo & his girlfriend's getaway to

 celebrate their 2nd yr. of dating anniversary.

(after being each others best friends for 10ish).

I smile.

Captures of my granddog who's here for a few days.

And our morning walks that start off with a blast of 

fur shooting out the front door 

 and a human flapping around behind on a leash.

I smile.

A video message 

of a penguin singing 

the sweetest song.

From my Mama.

Cheesy love.

It made me tear up..

I smile.

I am thankful for all the beautiful experiences,

people and things that made my life a lot more joyful

and meaningful this week.

I don't have the words today,

only gratitude.

xoxo

💖

 

Codependent Stuff

I thought I would share a little bit more about Codependency

today.

The reason being, is that I remember all the self-help books,

counseling, struggles, and lack of direction I had.

I remember always feeling like something was wrong with me.

(so I became a self-help junkie)

I constantly searched for the answers to why I felt

lost, directionless, confused, insecure, scared, alone,

and a sense of not belonging. I blamed others for my unhappiness.

 What was wrong with me?

When my counselor suggested a book on

codependency (in 2021),

I remember opening it up, and everything

starting to make more sense.

I felt relieved. 

I wasn't crazy after all...

I was codependent.

I am going to share a few questions and quotes from my 

"Codependent No More" book/workbook.

It took me so long to find the help I needed,

and a lot of counseling.

I hope this helps someone discover their own answers.

"Survival behaviors are what people do when they don't

know what else to do."

" Survival behaviors are what people do when they don't have other 

options for dealing with overwhelming situations.

Sometimes survival behavior is the best we can do.

Without help we don't have any other options."

"For so many years we thought other people held the key

to our happiness."

" Most people with codependency issues feel genuinely unlovable."

Questions to ponder:

(* codependency behavior)

"What's the motivation for what you're doing?

Because you made a conscious decision to do it,

or

are you *acting from guilt or obligation?

Are you *choosing to give or giving compulsively without

thinking about what you are doing?

Are you *hoping someone will like or love you if you do 

something for, or give something to, her or him?

Do you feel lovable and likable, and have self-esteem?

Or do you *have to prove those things to other people and yourself?

How do you feel when you're done doing the behavior?

Do you *feel resentful, used and victimized?

Or do you feel comfortable with and responsible for your choices?"

" Codependency recovery helps people get and keep a life.

Sometimes it saves their life too."

" A codependent person is one who lets another person's 

behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with

controlling that behavior."

"Not only can we lovingly detach from other people

and take care of ourselves, it is our primary responsibility

in life to do that."

I didn't waste anytime in finding a codependency support group.

I found a group that met in a church near me.

The first day I went....I was so dang scared. 

I remember before the meeting was half over though, 

I'd already felt a sense of belonging, acceptance and

love washing over me.

 It was one of the smartest & best choices I think I've ever made.

I also found many groups online.

Sometimes I do that too,

but I prefer to be with my peeps.

I will be sharing more quotes, notes, and thoughts about codependency as

I continue my healing journey.

It is something so many of us struggle with,

but aren't even aware of it.  

I wish I had more awareness sooner,

however, I trust that life is unfolding as it needs to for me,

and I am unbelievably grateful.

"Taking care of myself is a big job.

No wonder I avoided it for so long."

xoxo

💝

 

Godsends

Lot's of things shifting in my soul lately.

It's weird.

And wonderful.

With a side of bittersweetness.

Robins have been surrounding me lately. They are always here...

but lately they seem to be trying to get my attention.

They are perching on a wire overhead & serenading me as I walk in the mornings,

waiting on the gate as I leave the track,

walking beside me in yard.

I pulled out my "Animal Speak" book this morning.

It's always interesting to see if what I read, resonates with my situation or what I'm going through.

I believe that God gives us little signs along the way

 if we are receptive to them. 

This has been going on for three days...

I felt like it was a sign.

My world has been shifting.  This course along with my spiritual

walk are taking me off my regularly beaten, well worn path.

It's not a clear path now, and I am battling debris, stumbling on rocks, 

and trying to keep my eyes on the way ahead.

It's uncomfortable most days.

 I'd rather see the path,

but I am starting to trust, and feel

more open to what lies ahead.

 

When my heart leans one way inside of me, 

but I ignore that, and pretend to feel another way,

or act in a way that doesn't feel true to who I really

am, it makes life extremely complicated.

 I've complicated my journey.

I get that now.

It's also what pushed me to find my way.

It's what drove me to find a codependent support group.

It's what makes me passionate about this course, and finding

better ways to take care of myself.

I had to finally see that there wasn't something wrong with me,

 that I just had some faulty programing installed.

The old programming although outdated, 

has been with me all my life.

Changing programs has been challenging.

You have to learn things all over again.

Thankfully, it is downloading slowly...

one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

Note: 

Robins are a sign of new growth in a variety of areas

in your life. Keep moving forward.

xoxo

💝

 

Some Commandments

....from one of my morning reads.

Sharing these little commands from Iyanla Vanzant.

"1. Thou shalt make it your business to get in touch with God first each day.

2. Thou shalt remember to pray for your mother and father as soon as you 

finish praying for yourself.

3. Thou shalt honor thyself enough not to take things that do not belong to you,

and this includes other people's people.

4. Thou shalt refrain from telling someone something about somebody until

you have told that somebody to their face.

5. Thou shat refrain from saying anything to anybody that you would be ashamed or

afraid to say to God, to God's face.

6. Thou shalt do no less than two good things for yourself each day.

7. Thou shalt do one good thing for another each day.

8. Thou shalt confine all whining, complaining and criticizing to every other Wednesday,

between the hours of 2:00 A.M. & 3:30 A.M., when the moon is full.

When the moon is not full, oh, well, thou shall wait until it is.

9. Thou shalt live fully, or thou shalt not. This choice is yours.

10. Thou shalt believe the best about everything and everyone until you have

concrete evidence from God to the contrary."

Old ways and old laws with a little twist.

I love the reminders.

xoxo

💖

 

 

Note to Self

Dear Self,

"You deserve to be surrounded by people who

lift you up and see your true beauty.

You deserve genuine love, pure acceptance, 

and eternal patience.

Please do not accept less than that.

I need you."

Love me.

xoxo

💝