Facing Reality

The last words written in my journal yesterday:

"Remind yourself often of what  matters to you and pursue that."

The first words in my journal this morning:

"Meltdown"

"It's time to know what really matters &

let the other crap fall where it may."

So, today my reality is this.

Going through the feels of....

Rejection. Confusion. Anger.

Bitterness. Resentment. Shame.

Frustration. Unworthiness. Disappointment.

Hurt. Discouragement. Regret. Sadness....

I've released way too many F-bombs.

Non-stop tears, journaling, isolation, prayers...

 and then as I was splashing cool water on my face...

I hear this song.

The lyrics were exactly what I needed to turn this 

s--t show around.

That's pretty much my day so far.

I want to tuck this memory away here. 

Reality is hitting me with a force today.

"Confusion is a normal state of being human and being imperfect.

The state of confusion is a necessary antecedent for change.

We do not change when we are sure of where we are.

We only change when we are uncomfortable, in pain & confused."

Eventually you will come to the conclusion that you 

cannot find what you need outside of yourself.

xoxo

💕