Camera

" Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth 

plants something in his soul.  "

The day Brandon was born...
was the moment my love for the camera was also being birthed.

I think most of us mothers rush out and buy a camera 
with the desire to capture every precious moment
and every milestone of our babies life...
even when they aren't so little any more.

Little did I know...
that the camera would not only become an appendage to my arm...
it would also become an essential instrument in comfort and healing.

Lord knows, I have dark and broken pieces in my life, like each of us do.

I prefer not to focus on it...but it's there...and it needs healing.

Life is difficult.

I have NO doubt that my strength to deal with the difficult days..

 and my healing comes from God.

So this morning as I was nuzzled up with Adam and my devotionals, 

and Scotty continued his attempt to chase all the shadows out of the yard...

I felt suddenly filled with a deep feeling of joy and gratitude.

As I snapped a few pictures in attempt to capture that feeling forever...

I felt the sudden need to pray.

I couldn't recall ever thanking God for

taking my hand

and putting a camera in it.

All of these years that I have been passionate about focusing on 

the good in each day...

I have never once thanked Him for the one thing that kept me searching !

My camera.

I used to spend so much time hoping, wishing and kneeling

longing for pain to be replaced by joy.

Wanting something to soothe the gnawing 

sensations around the edges of my soul.

Unbeknownst to me it would be something so simple .

Gradually I noticed that when I picked up my camera

I had to slow down...or be still.

I had to focus on life through the lens.

I became an addict !

I became more aware of the  little pockets of beauty I would have missed on the bestest of days...

and it became the way of which I could spot the light in my darkest of days.

Taking pictures kept me from worrying about things.

It kept me grounded.

I have captured some of my greatest blessings in these photos.

Each image has left an indelible mark on my soul,

as well as a layer of memories...

 a continuous thread winding through various times and chapters of my life.

There is so much more than what meets the eye.

These photos are filled with stories of gratitude, healing and hope.

There are chapters of confusion and heartbreak, 

beauty mixed with bittersweet.

There are moments of discovery and longing...

and most of all grace and love.

Thank you God for always giving me what I need,

and for showing me life doesn't always have to be perfect to be beautiful.

XOXO