Self-recognition

Sitting on the back stoop in slippers and a hoodie.

Time forgotten, as I sip my mug of (protein-powder) hot chocolate.

 Neighbor's chickens running toward me on their stubby little legs,

expecting to get a morning treat. I do not disappoint.

I return & sit down with my journal.

 When I put pen to paper scratching sentences, and quotes across the

page, I feel my body sigh.

 I've journaled since I was a girl.

Life gets reprioritized by something bigger than me,

and it has carried me through the chapters of my story. 

It's where I offload burdens, so that I can travel lighter.

A place where I willingly face correction, rage at my own ignorance,

receive Grace, and ...let go of old ways.

It's a space where time isn't a thing,

life seems to slow down & soften,

and ashes transform into beauty.

Lately it's been a place of redirection,

redemption, and restoration.

A continual healing and connection to a part

of me I have sadly forgotten.

That piece of me that's been clawing at the surface,

but stuck within the walls of protection, doubt, fear,

and insecurities. 

I share these words, as I feel a sense of leaving a version

of myself behind. 

Maybe it's midlife, maybe it's simply growth.

Either way...I think I'm on the other side of that spurt.

Shedding that skin.

Thank God.

I've experienced grief, anger, frustration, rage,

euphoria, love, grace, joy, and everything in-between.

The uncertainties of life can be scary,

yet I am finding some comfort in the not knowing.

Not having to know.

It has opened me up to the adventure of the unknown.

I  can trust in a Source larger than myself.

That Trust has not come easily.

Today, I am truly grateful for the life I have. 

Every bit of it.

That too, has taken some time.

I've worked hard this year and I am experiencing the rewards.

There's new vistas and memories that I'm making.

 I've let go of the way I "think" things need to go...(among other things)

& am relaxing into the journey.

I've opened up to more learning, because now I understand

just how much I don't know.

And with that, I have been more open to receiving, 

because I am humbled by what I have learned.

Practicing mindfulness and staying in the here and now

definitely keeps things lighter, and running  a little smoother.

It has opened me up to some pretty amazing moments,

I would have otherwise missed.

So does breathwork, meditation, prayer, and gratitude.

I believe, that what is right for us will pull at our hearts.

And if we can relax, and trust in our own process, 

we will eventually find our way.

We don't have to have it all figured out.

be well...

xoxo

💝

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull

of what you really love. It will not lead you astray."

~Rumi~

"You are who you are when no one is watching."

"You're beautiful, even on a bad hair day!"