Today's Thoughts

I thought I would come home and rest after spending a day

and a half in the hospital with hubby.

He has had his knee replacement surgery.

It was a mess. Surgery went well. 

He is not doing so well.

Getting ready to head back early this morning.

Didn't sleep much better at home, 

although it was nice to be home for a bit.

I'll head back as soon as it tuns light.

(not a fan of driving in the dark).

I thought I'd share a slice of yesterday.

I was on the verge of an meltdown around 10 AM.

Not much sleep. Confined. No privacy.

*hospital setting*

I only had a brief minute to meditate or pray in-between

distractions. I tried. I just wasn't connecting.

That was when I felt the tears well up...the self- pity thoughts

rising to the surface, and the emotions taking over.

Hubby started getting sick about the same time.

I was doing all I could...

running for barf bags and nurses, and cold rags...

then I knew, I just had to take a moment away.

I was rapidly going down.

With hubby's blessing, I took my journal and devotionals,

and headed for the park.

It's like home away from home for me,

and it was right down the street.

I've spent many hours feeding the geese, walking with friends,

and watching Brandon grow up there. I even hung out there with Dad 

once during a visit.

When I arrived, I felt an instant calm.

It was a gorgeous morning so I rolled down my window.

The geese were sleeping, and I was semi-relieved

considering I didn't have anything to offer them to eat.

I sat and wrote in my journal, read...and prayed.

I was thankful and grateful for the fresh air, the sunshine, and

having some time to sit and fuel up with God's words.

Peace and serenity were setting in.

Slightly hungry and 1/2 nauseous myself,

 I started munching on some mixed nuts packed in a tote I keep in my car.

I noticed a squirrel outside my window forging around,

so I started digging out the hazel nuts,

(not my favorite)

and flicking them outside of the window. 

Noticing this...the little critter would come, grab and munch.

This continued.

Walnuts and almonds were being added.

Squirrel friends were joining in the celebration.

They decided I could be trusted, 

and sat waiting outside my door.

During this time....I was still present with my reading & devotionals,

writing my thoughts in my journal,

 and giving thanks as the moments passed.

I was grateful.

It had only been a half an hour since I was just about to unravel,

a here I was sitting in a state of bliss.

This is why my routine has always been an essential.

Words I read while sitting in my car...

" Don't miss your prayer and meditation time."

"Affirm your trust in Me."

" Focus on this very moment, the sights & sounds around you,

all pieces of the here and now."

(that's when I noticed the squirrel...just for the record)

" When you are tempted to worry about tomorrows concerns, 

gently return to me."

(note: that is what started the melt-down to begin with.)

" You are powerless by yourself to stop the emotional binges 

once they gain momentum."...

(been there done that...knew it was coming...had to go...)

..." Reunite with Me and peace and serenity begin to seep back

into your mind and heart."

(truth)

" Make yourself available, and I can do for you

what you cannot do for yourself."

(truth. I could have easily had gone down the rabbit hole...)

" Beware of overthinking things and obsessing about them."

(guilty)

" Seek to live in the present moment where my Presence

awaits you continually."

(redemption)

"Refresh yourself in My nearness,

letting My love soak into your innermost being."

(restoration)

"Relax with Me, putting aside problems so you

can be attentive to Me and receive more of My love."

(essential)

" I want the very best for you."

(it couldn't have been better)

This morning I woke up...with the words

" I will perfect all that concerns you."

flowing through my head.

I am holding onto that along with the full cup

of coffee and a full heart from time well spent back 

in my morning routine.

Be well.

xoxo

💖