Just B-r-e-a-t-h-e

When I look back on my life,

I notice that things always worked out, even if

I had to suffer pain or loss.

However, I am struggling with a situation 

that I just can't see the light through today.

These are the times I wish I had my family close.

I want hear my cousins laugh,

 feel my Dad's comforting presence as he works in the yard,

 & watch my stepmom paint with her watercolors.

I want to feel that grounding of my childhood home, 

 and the feelings of "belongingness" that 

comes organically when I'm with my people.

I am truly homesick yet find comfort in knowing that

I will be there in a little over a week.

In the meantime, I will hold some space to honor

the moments, when I simply don't want

 to be a grown up anymore.

"Growing ourselves is messy business."

" Here's how I became myself:

mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments,

and extensive reading; limbo, indecision,

setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, 

and endless conversations with my best friends;

loss of people without whom I could not live,

the loss of pets that left me reeling,

dizzying betrayals, but much greater loyalty,

and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake's line

that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love." 

~Anne Lamott~

xoxo

💗