Sad[ish]

Sitting here feeling grateful for everything in life right now,

and at the same time aware of a gnawing undertone of sadness.

Why am I so grateful, yet feeling pangs of sadness?

Maybe it is because I had alot of quality time and bonding with my dear hubby this weekend.

Maybe it was the tears and ease in which I shared my open heart space with him

over devotional readings and coffee on the porch.

Maybe it was because of a dip in temperatures, and the end of another season in the air.

Maybe it was the sound of the Righteous Brothers playing [Unchained Melody] on a fairly worn cassette in the old farm truck.

Maybe it was the windows rolled down, the smell of hay, and my hubby's profile

silhouetted in the late afternoon sun.

Maybe because sometimes I get scared of the rushing freight train of time...the changes...

and I want to take in every little thing and hold onto it forever.

Maybe it was because I have spent so much of my life searching.

Seeking.

Looking for true love.

Maybe because even though my humanness keeps me searching for more,

grasping for something beyond my reach...

I know I don't have to carry on the search.

Maybe because I am given those rare moments... when I realize 

that what I have been searching for is all around me.

Love. Connection. Inspiration. God.

Maybe IT IS when we stop seeking,

 slow down,

and surrender our search,

that we find ourselves smack dab in the treasure we have been looking for.

*loving...

times shared on the porch

hauling hay

deep conversations

Righteous Brothers

cooler days

old farm trucks

when my heart feels full. ready to explode full.

the leap of faith we both took that planted us here together

Oh...that lovin' feelin' :)

XOXO