This morning I sat in Gary's recliner,
staring at the Christmas tree with it's twinkle lights,
and hand-made snowflakes, the ones Brandon and I made...
[thirteen years ago , on our very first Christmas that it was just the two of us.]
I was feeling very tired,
&
sore from yesterdays PT.
Plus... I had already started being too hard on myself,
for not jumping out of bed with tons of gratitude,
singing "Oh Happy day!"....
or even just the simple act of jumping out of bed !
I said my morning prayer.
Sipped coffee from my big smiley face mug.
Wrote more than usual in my journal.
Read scriptures in the Bible,
then picked up my devotional.
Then another.
And another.
Jotting down words in my journal as I read.
Words that were sinking into my soul,
like little drops of peace.
Until the *slap* !
" A pervasive and exaggerated fear of ambition
can become an excuse for complacency."
Why did that feel like a slap?
Well, maybe... because I feel like doing things or sharing things,
beliefs,
thoughts,
inspirations,
and I don't. In fear of judgment?
Maybe because I can look back,
at the hardest things I've had to do in life,
and KNOW that with out a doubt, God has hovered
over me and given me the strength I have needed, and
the direction that was best for me.
But fear that if I share my stories with too many, I will witness eye rolls and doubt...
and feel the sting of rejection?
I sit here...knowing I would NOT be where I am today...
curled up in hubby's recliner, coffee in hand, staring at the tree...
safe,
protected,
healthy ,
loved,
& feeling a little sorry for myself😉....
if I had not been including God in my plans along the way.
I know, that this would not have been a teeny, tiny, fleck-of-dust possible!!
[I mean seriously ....I raised a son mostly on my own & then married my Vet. The guy we used to call "Marlboro man" ? !]
I couldn't even get out of bed this morning
with out a little prayer, and His help !
So maybe I need to worry less about what others think,
and focus more on giving God the praise.
Share my thoughts, even if it leaves me a little vulnerable.
Because...sometimes
fear likes to keeps us small.
This mornings motivation:
"Be set free:
It's not a sin to want to be the best at what you do.
It's okay for you to want to achieve as much as you can with your life
for the sake of God who gave it to you.
I sincerely doubt God is going to look at you at the end of your life
and say, " You did too much for me."
But I do sincerely believe that God is going to look at many people
and say, " You were too falsely humble for your own good
and for the good of countless people you could have
impacted if you'd had a little more ambition."
*slap*
Let's all be more ambitious!
Deal?
Love and Hugs !!💘
